I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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