There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
