whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
