i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
