she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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