Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
