She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
