Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
