i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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