The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
