He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize