god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
