So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't put those talents on a resume
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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