Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
