Having a random hookup so left but love u
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
