that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
this boner is exhausting
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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