Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
