p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
