Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize