i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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