playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
