jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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