Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
