We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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