I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
