I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
