Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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