piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've blown a few things in my day
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
