took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
