Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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