don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
