we have officially lost it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
