Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
