There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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