He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
