The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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