In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
