I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
