ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
