Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
