Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
