not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
