5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
