please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
