The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
