it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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