I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
3 2 1 whiskey
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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