Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
