So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just invented taco cereal.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
