I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
