So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
