she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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