i just had sex bonerless
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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