Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize