somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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