Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
