GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
