your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
