im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
