I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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