i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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