Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
