Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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