Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
