i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
