Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
