this just has baby written all over it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
