actually, I'm a sock model
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
