Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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