Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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