I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am naked and annoyed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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