he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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